KINGFISHER, NE—Gathering among survivors and families in the wake of yet another horrific tragedy, President Joe Biden met with victims of gun violence Tuesday to remind them there wasn’t really anything stopping another mass shooting from happening in their community. “What happened to you is something no family should ever have to go through, but unfortunately, I can’t promise it won’t happen again,” said Biden, who sat down behind closed doors with those affected by the country’s latest mass shooting to shrug his shoulders and grimace. “Sorry, them’s the breaks. I take your pain very seriously, but not seriously enough to implement any sort of meaningful policy that might prevent you from losing your other daughter. Who knows? Maybe she’ll even be shot tomorrow.” At press time, Biden added that if another mass shooting struck the town, he would return to say, “Told you so.”
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